I remember talking with my mom about a situation she had heard about involving the ways people react to and treat each other. She was retelling the story, and specifically she noted how the people involved seemed to always be there for others when things were bad-- but were nowhere to be found, so to speak, when life for others was good.
Now, some of you might see this as something strikingly similar to the German concept known as schadenfreude. This concept translates, though not directly, in English to mean "taking pleasure in the misfortune of others." But there is a subtle nuance in the way my mom recalled the story she had overheard.
The way she had told it, and explained what she had understood, it wasn't about taking pleasure in the difficulties and trials, or even suffering, of other people. Rather, it was simply that some people seemed to be more comfortable in providing a shoulder to lean on when someone was down or depressed. These same people, when some other had reason to celebrate or deserved accolades, found it difficult and almost nauseating to grant praise and enjoy the success of others.
They are uncomfortable giving credit, praise, and sharing joy, seeming like a child wearing a tuxedo for the first time-- awkward movements, tugging at the bow-tie, rocking because of the shoes, awkward facial expressions, and otherwise irritated at any aspect of the situation in which they find themselves.
It was a nuanced thing to understand, but simple to put into a single line. So I'll give it to you here, and let you ponder what it means, whether you know people like this, whether you approach life in the same way, or whether joy in and of itself is enough for you to feel joy for others...
- "Some people can feel sorry for you, but they can never feel happy for you."
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